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Dear Civil Behavior: I have had gay friends from high school through the present day. Now I have a problem that my girlfriend suggested I write you about.

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When I first joined, I went into the locker room and met eyes with an older man about He smiled at me and I politely returned the smile. Like most men, I spend the time in the locker room naked or wearing only a small towel. Whenever this man and I are in same area, I always sense him staring at me. I find this kind of attention particularly invasive and want to confront him, but he is an older gay man and I get the sense that he is lonely.

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  • How being a gay man can make your body issues worse.
  • My girlfriend argues that I should say something in a way that allows him to save face. Is she right? Many people use the gym as a place to flirt including lots of straight guys hitting on women.

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    I crowd-sourced your question on my Facebook page and was taken aback by some of the responses:. Some even took license to actually blame you: Really, people? First of all, courts have found that ogling can be a legitimate form of sexual harassment.

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    Although most cases have involved men leering at women, it takes only a bit of gender bending to make you realize that this kind of behavior, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, is disrespectful, degrading — and just plain rude. Age is another factor here. Hair spray, mousse, wet-look gel and powder promising that tousled surfer look.

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    Often, the queue to wash your hands is endlessly drawn out by people preening in the mirror. Body image is an issue for many men, regardless of sexuality. But it seems to be more of a problem in the gay community.

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    When it comes to appearance, gay men hold themselves - and one another - to far more exacting standards. I spoke to a few men anonymously about this on Grindr. A leading gay lifestyle magazine, Attitude, has just published an entire issue dedicated to body image problems in the gay community. Part of the obsession some gay men have with their appearance definitely comes from seeking validation.

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    HueyDavid - YouTube. They look past your sexual orientation. How to be Gay and Happy.


    Todd argued that homosexuality is often accompanied by feelings of shame stemming from a lack of acceptance in society. Those feelings can lead to a lack of acceptance for ourselves, which leads to an unhealthy fixation with our appearance. In , the International Journal of Eating Disorders found that gay or bisexual men were three times more likely than straight men to have body image issues. It seems to be the other way around for women, with a study finding that lesbian women reported less body dissatisfaction than heterosexual women. According to the lesbian blogger Denise Warner, "women are more accepting of body flaws, possibly because they're so aware of the sexism in mainstream media" when it comes to promoting unattainable beauty standards.

    I came out when I was 15 years old. David compared himself to boys he thought were more attractive than him.

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    David also thinks the LGBT community is judgmental about appearance. They go for two hours in the morning and two in the evening. It definitely affects people negatively. Getty Images. A Grindr user agreed.